The Golden Cage: When Wealth Becomes a Prison - Article 3

Start with Article 1 of the Series

After financial freedom, many of us shift our focus to comfort and pleasure. It feels like a well-earned reward.

After all, didn't we push hard for years? Don't we deserve to finally enjoy it?

We focus on health and wellbeing. We travel and tick items off our bucket lists. We avoid pressure, stress and responsibility.

And it feels great. It feels right. Because it is. For now.

We start telling people how brutal our journey to wealth was. We repeat the story until we believe it ourselves - work equals suffering.

We tell ourselves society tricked us into thinking hard work was unavoidable.

We read books like Die with Zero which cheer us on, telling us it's time to stop achieving and start collecting life experiences. We take their message too far - as permission to become useless and self-indulgent for the rest of our lives.

We start to believe that the secret to life is never working again.

We feel liberated by this idea. We stop producing. We become professional enjoyers.

Some claim it's more spiritual to live this way. We feel proud of our wisdom.

And before long, we may even start preaching: Escape the rat race. Chase experiences and energy instead. Just build financial freedom and happiness will follow.

After a few years of reinforcing this mindset, it hardens. And without noticing, we've locked ourselves deeper into the golden cage.

Then one day, something feels off.

We look around at the beautiful life we've built and wonder: Why doesn't it feel fulfilling?

The Balance of Give and Take

The point we may be missing is that fulfillment doesn't come from pleasure alone. It comes from balance between getting and giving.

Getting is about what we take from the world: pleasure, experiences, wealth.

Giving is about what we contribute to it: our creativity, efforts and sacrifices.

We need both getting and giving to feel fulfilled.

But post-wealth, many of us tip the scale - we take more than we give.

We may still be generous in many ways: supporting our families, donating, mentoring. But if we still feel empty and lacking purpose, chances are we're not giving at our best.

The part of us that used to build, lead, create value - that part is not being fully given. The part that solved hard problems and helped others grow. That showed up, fully, when nobody else would. 

That part goes quiet. And when it does, something in us starts to ache.

We try to fill the gap. We spend more time with family. We sign up for boards. We get busier again. 

But the restlessness doesn't go away. Something still feels off.

Because when we were building, we were all in. We worked, grew, and gave - intensely. 

That rhythm became part of us. That sense of responsibility. That drive to get better. It gave us direction. It shaped our days. It sharpened us. It gave us purpose. 

Slowing down doesn't just feel boring - it feels disorienting. 

Like we're not useful anymore. Like we've gone soft. Like something vital in us is being underused.

Our talents and skills, the ones we spent years sharpening, still want to be used. They don't want to retire. They want to contribute. 

But the places we try to use them now rarely stretch us. Rarely ask for our best.

And so, we drift. 

Not because we're lazy. Not because we lack ideas. But because we're disconnected from that deep, wired-in need to give.

Rebuilding Purpose

Does this mean we have to build another company?

Not necessarily.

But it does mean we need clarity. We need to name what's missing - with as much precision as we can - so we can re-create it. 

Having spent 13 years researching that elusive post-wealth sense of purpose, I've found that it has four essential elements:

• Dedicated Work. Embracing not just freedom from work, but freedom to do our best work. Applying real effort, not just doing what feels pleasant or writing checks.

• Giving Our Best. Understanding our natural talents and skills, developing them and showing up all in: building, improving, pushing our edge.

• Non-Transactional Intent. Our primary intent must be to contribute. If we're doing it just to get something - money, validation, fame - it won't feel like purpose.

• Open-End Commitment. Contribution is a process we commit to, not a goal. It's not about building a new venture with exit in mind.

Rebuilding purpose means committing to something that demands our best, out of the genuine desire to contribute.

And what about pleasure?

Pleasure is essential to fulfillment. Life without joy is incomplete and depressing.

While pleasure feeds the getting side of the scales, it also plays a vital role in our giving.

It can guide us to our natural talents - we tend to enjoy doing what we're meant to do. 

But we must distinguish between pleasure from realizing our talents and pleasure from purely selfish satisfaction.

The difference lies in our intent - is it to give or to get?

Are we deriving pleasure from having a bigger house than our neighbor? Or from getting better at creating value?

To add to the giving side of the scale, we need to shift our question from "What do I enjoy?" to "What am I meant to be contributing to the world?"

From "How do I get the most out of life?" to "Where can I give my full self?"

The golden cage opens when we start contributing selflessly at our best.

Only then does our life become meaningful.The emptiness that's haunting us vanishes.

Our confidence, conviction and energy return.

We matter again.

And in this balance between giving and getting, we find what we've been searching for all along: not only success, not only pleasure - but deep fulfillment that grows richer with time.

Next up in the series: Lock #3 — We lack the drive to pursue purpose.

Stay tuned!