'Post-Exit Catch 22'
After years of pushing limits, facing uncertainties, and shouldering immense responsibilities, we reach the pivotal moment of selling our business. We promise ourselves, 'Now, I'll only do what I truly want.' Yet, we're often confronted with a perplexing question: 'What do I truly want?' I call this phenomenon the 'Post-Exit Catch 22.' It's a familiar scenario in the post-exit community.
French philosopher René Girard, known to techies as Peter Thiel’s favorite Stanford professor, proposed that all our desires are 'mimetic' – we subconsciously imitate them from those around us, particularly those we admire.
Post-exit, this often means subconsciously adopting the aspirations of peers, industry leaders, and financial gurus. In Silicon Valley, typical post-exit paths lean towards angel investing, venture capital, or joining another startup. In other social circles, popular pursuits might include luxury, globetrotting or philanthropy.
The problem with mimetic desires is that they can lead to un-fulfillment, as they may not align with our true selves and can hinder self-realization. Pursuing these 'subconsciously borrowed' desires often results in shallow satisfaction and eventual disappointment.
This cycle of disappointment can drive us towards resignation, convincing ourselves that a life of passive income, freedom, and apparent success (luxury, status) represents the pinnacle of achievement. We risk losing sight of true meaning and purpose. It's a subtle but pervasive trap.
So, how do we escape the Post-Exit Catch 22?
By leveraging mimetic desires to our advantage which means consciously choosing whose desires we emulate.
Understanding ourselves and others deeply is crucial. While this understanding evolves over time, a good starting point is identifying people whose desires likely align with ours, especially among fellow exited founders.
In my experience, the most mature and successful exited founders are very intentional about meaning and purpose and aspire to a healthy, joyful, and fulfilling life. If subconscious emulation is inevitable, it's wise to emulate such individuals.
Purposefully building authentic relationships with this type of people has been instrumental for me. I engage with them through personal interactions, books, blogs, or podcasts. This ongoing journey of 'social growth' has had an enormous positive effect on my life and happiness and eventually led me to clarity about my purpose.
Our post-exit journey is about more than just deciding what to do next; it's about uncovering what genuinely fulfills us. This can be achieved through both introspection and consciously curating our social circles. Recognizing and strategically harnessing mimetic desires can become our superpower in the post-exit phase.
PS: Throwback to the unforgettable moments with some of my favorite exiteers. Here's to creating even more memories like these Barak Kaufman, Shlomo Dalezman, Arunabh Dastidar, Litan Yahav.
